Show off

We were at my SIL’s house and she has a son who is of Chuky’s age. They played, fought, laughed and had so much fun. They are so different from each other. He is super active and would jump from anywhere without worrying about the consequences, whereas Chucky would be extremely cautious in all her actions. People complained me that she is afraid but I think there is different between fear and being cautious. While I don’t want to compare them more here, leaving you with a picture of my baby who kept on cleaning the floor while the other made it messy. I can’t be more proud and happy to pass her that gene of mine.

Two weeks

I was so worried when I packed my bags to India, I was mainly worried about Chucky, how she will get used to India, especially because I had plans to leave her with my parents. Now that we are close to the end of our India trip I am so relieved and happy to inform how well she adapted to all situations we put her in. We reached on a Friday and had to report to work on same day. She was also into Jet lag but managed that day quite well. Then we got the weekend and we had great time exploring the city. Monday to Thursday she spent with her paternal grandparents. Then we went to Bangalore. I was so anxious to drop her there. But I was surprised to see the way she adjusted there. No tears or tantrums and she got very attached to my folks with in no time. The two weeks she spent with my folks was a major milestone for her as well as for us. It was tough but we managed pretty well.

I could see lot of positive changes in her, she looked so different (appearance), her accent was changed to Indian accent and she looked extremely happy. I have no complaints but to thank the way my parents and sister’s family looked after her. I told R that day, if something happens to us I am least worried, she will be in safe hands. Isn’t it amazing to have a beautiful family around you who loves you unconditionally, and I am proud to have one. Chucky called herself a princess when she was there and looking at the way they took care of her make me believe that was so apt. I was nervous to ask her how she was when we left her there but she was a trooper, she said he had lot of fun and I also asked her if she was upset or angry with me for leaving her there. She said she isn’t and she is so happy to have me. She showered with lot of kisses, hugs and love. I found myself in peace.

My BIL would read her stories, My sister would feed her and she slept with her, My mom would give her oil bath daily and take her to park, she had her cousins to play all the time, I know why she didn’t have any complaints. I am sure getting all these attentions in one day seems like a dream when we are in US. She learned to peddle the bicycle, learned to do somersaults, to laugh and to run with no fear. I haven’t seen her happy like that. Hearing her antics daily made us laugh from here too. I always had this fear how she will get used to if we make a move back to India and these experiences give me lot of confidence. I think kids adapt to new environment faster and better than us.

After knowing that she is doing well, R and I were able to relax and enjoy the “we two” stage of ours, we worked with no tension to go back home, mid night food hunting, hanging out with friends, and coming home late and making love sounded like a dream come true. I felt we were dating with the amount of quality time we spend with each other. So I have no complaints. One incident I wanted to note down here, one day my sister made 3 small dosas for Chucky and she told her that its Chucky and her brothers, she said “no Vellimma, this is me, my mamma and my Daddy, we are a family. We are a happy family”. She told all these in one go. When my sister told me this I was speechless and almost in tears. I could feel how much she would have missed us, but I am glad that it’s over and we are joined together as a family.

My Happy Bee

Bangalore trip-we and Chucky unite

PS: I started writing this post soon after my weekend trip to Bangalore, but I never got to complete or publish this. I wanted to publish this at least now.

I have absolutely no idea when the weekend came and gone. R and I was in Bangalore over the weekend, I had made some plans for blog meet and R had plans for going to some property shows, but we couldn’t do any of that. Meeting both sides of relatives itself is a huge task, and we couldn’t meet all of them, I am sure they must be unhappy that we didn’t meet them. It was so hectic and tiring, on top Chucky was unwell, she had wheezing and we had to take her to daughter and she was on antibiotic. Well she is doing much better by now, but for last 3 days she is vomiting whenever we are traveling whether its via road or air.

We got her back to Hyderabad and now she is spending time with her paternal grandparents, she was so happy to see us in Bangalore and wasn’t ready to leave her dad even for a minute. She asked us some 100times if we aren’t going anywhere, only after we got her back here she was convinced. My poor baby missed us a lot. It’s very clear that we can’t live without each other. We missed her crazy when she was there, now life seems to be much better, we can at least see her during night.

We are traveling back to US next Monday and I have mixed feelings about it, I am sure I am going to miss India and my folks enough said that, I can’t explain how I feel each time I have to separate from them. I was trying to hide my emotions when I said good bye to my folks, few minutes after that R said, it’s so tough to go away from them and he is feeling heavy heart. I think he was in same boat as I was in. But at the same time I find it difficult to stay here with the current setup. It’s difficult for my in-laws to manage Chucky considering their age and energy, and even I am finding it hard to depend on them, I don’t want them to fall sick, especially when we travel back. Getting a maid for a week is impossible and there are some restrictions at home as well. So going back seems to be an easy option considering that there we can manage our self.

Every day here seems to be so lively and active; I could write a post each day if I have time. There is always something or other, no days are same as previous. RM, now I know how you can write every day one post. Weather has changed drastically, it’s no longer cool mornings, and it’s getting hot. I think we would be off to US before the summer takes its peak. I am signing off for now, hopefully I will blog before I start from here, if not I will see you at the other end of the world. Is it still cold and raining there?

Reporting from Hyderabad

Happy Valentine’s Day to all my dear friends!!

I think I completely forgot way to this blog, it is not that nothing is happening in our life that I don’t have any updates, rather a lot of things are happening and I have no time to write. I am enjoying my stay here at Hyderabad, this is the first time I stayed for this long and I must say this is a beautiful city, people here are very good, I feel the extremely comfortable with the people I deal with on a daily basis whether it’s my office boy or the auto driver. They are pleasant to deal with unlike the other Indian cities I have lived. How can I miss the food, I have been eating 5meals a day, they aren’t small meals either, rather after a meal I wait for next. We have even found restaurants which looks closed from outside but serves delicious biryani and other delicious food in the midnight. So in short I am in love with this city. After 2weeks of stay, I can easily see myself here. That’s about Hyderabad.

Last weekend I made a quick visit to Bangalore to see my parents and then to drop Chucky there. I must say I felt home as soon as I landed in Bangalore, I instantly get connected with this city. Lots of changes have happened in last one year. I find myself extremely happy when I am there. It could be because I have so many people around me who love me unconditionally. The time I had there was just not enough, I met my parents, sisters, cousins, SIL in 2days time I had. The biggest news I have to share here is Chucky is now staying with my parents and sister in Bangalore. I left her there on Sunday night (5th Feb) and came back to HYD. I thought she would make big drama. The 1hr flight journey between Blore and Hyd was so tough for me. I was feeling gloomy and heavy heart thinking how my baby would manage that night without me. This is the first time we stayed apart during night in 2years and 8months. She handled it very well, no tantrums or tears. I am surprised to see how well she handled all these; meantime I am feeling bad too, my baby has grown so big to stay without me. Sigh. She is happy and enjoying the amount of attention and pampering she is getting. I am find it tough to sleep without her but knowing that she is enjoying I find myself in peace.

And the next milestone, I can’t call it her milestone because I have been involved too. For last 3.5years I have been having an intimate skin to skin contact with Chucky. The first 10months she was inside me and later she was depended on me as a source of food. After the terrible first year of breastfeeding (well it’s a post of its own, I promise I write it down for those young mothers and to be mothers) we have been enjoying breastfeeding and the bonding, private time we get each day. I reduced nursing soon after we reached India because I knew I am going to drop her. I think this change helped us to come out of it completely. Earlier whenever I tried I wasn’t successful mainly because we were together most of the nights. First two days I found it very tough, but by now I am completely alright. I heard that she is not at all worried about it either.

Work is so hectic and stressful that I hardly get time to think about me/us, we reach work around 9AM and leave around 12:30AM. It’s been ages we had a meal at home except the morning coffee we drink before we start to work. Everyone here is slogging and all of us are tired, the issues never seem to end. Only positive aspect is that now I don’t feel guilty going home late. Weather was awesome at both cities, every day I get to feel the cold wind, lot of sunlight and full moon nights when I get back home. It can’t be any perfect and better. I am so glad that I am away from gloomy US winter.

2nd Feb just before leaving to Blore we did Chucky’s Aksharabhyam, we did it in a temple near my in-law’s home. There was a small pooja and we were supposed to make her write. During the pooja we were asked to repeat what poojari was recitation. I was finding it tough to do so but Chucky did it with ease. She enjoyed the whole ceremony and pooja. Leaving you with a picture taken on that day.

Last weekend my in-laws were out of town which meant R and I was all alone at home, we have been waiting for this since long to have only two of us but when we got we didn’t like it, we missed Chucky badly that day. I was finding it difficult even to make tea in the new kitchen, we watched 2movies in 2 days, Business man (telugu) and ek main aur ek tu (hindi). I liked both of them could be because we were so bored and didn’t have to worry about anything else. Sunday we had to take one of our clients, who came along with us from US for a local city tour, I could explore some more parts of Hyderabad, I never knew this city had such long history and I am in awe looking at the Palaces and the glory they carry. Details and pictures I will publish separately.

Today I had to wake up early to go to US consulate, I had my visa interview and it went well. Yesterday night R came with a cute teddy bear, red roses and card. He made me feel special, and we missed Chucky and both of us thought she would love that teddy. Last few weeks has been like a roller coaster ride with lot of up and down emotions, excitement when we achieve something, dull moments when I miss Chucky, love and special attention from R, frustration when something goes wrong, more kisses from R now that Chucky is not around, work stress and so on. I got to go now. I am signing off. See you all real soon. How’s life at your end?

New routine

I thought it would be much easier for me to drop Chucky with my in-laws and carry on with my work, I was so wrong; she was very upset when we left home yesterday and later I heard that she was crying badly asking for us. Before I left to work I was preparing her for the day.

Me: Mamma and Dadda has to go to work, you can stay home with Thatha and Bamma.
Chucky: No I will also come to work
Me: No baby, you can’t come to work, they will allow only big people, and you are so small. You can stay home and watch cartoons.
Chucky: No don’t go away from me, wait for me, I don’t want to stay home with Bamma and Thatha, I want to come with you, I will miss you mamma.

I was so melted away; I didn’t know what to tell her.I am already having tough time leaving her for the day; I can’t imagine how we will live without her after I drop her with my parents at Bangalore. Mommy guilt is killing me.

Hello Hyderabad!!

We reached India, to be precise in Hyderabad. There was series of drama before the travel and I started packing only few hours before the actual travel start time. Since I believe in being organized and love to get things done as early as possible so that the last few days/hrs before the trip are less stressful. But I have a partner who believes only in last min packing and he loves to catch his flight running (literally this has happened many times). R was working last weekend and every time he promised that he would take me out for shopping the following day, but that day never came. Sunday I was frustrated and I didn’t even had the energy to argue with him, so I dropped Chucky at my friend’s home and did shopping in 3-4hrs.

My travel to India was to support the team during go live which was supposed to be on 1st Feb. Tuesday evening I wanted to leave early from work because I didn’t even start packing for my Wednesday morning flight. As I was about to leave I heard two news which shattered all my plans. First news being one of our team members is leaving the project in few days and second being the go live is postponed by 2months. I could see how disappointed I was that evening as I drove back home. I had informed everyone about the travel and I did even give notice to Chucky’s daycare. Chucky was quite excited about her flight journey as well.

Tuesday around 10PM I got confirmation from my manager that I would be traveling and the go live isn’t postponed; I regained my energy and started packing. I packed 5 Check in baggage with 2-3hrs of time. I was mentally so prepared for this travel that I didn’t want it to be cancelled. After all the packing I had only 2hrs left for sleeping, we asked the cab to come at 7. I tried to sleep but it was tough to do so with all the excitement bubbling up. The almost cancelled trip is still on.

This time the journey was with quite a bit of drama, with delayed flight, and then there was turbulence which gave us a free roller coaster ride. Chucky enjoyed the trip the most, she was a happy kid throughout the journey, during the security check she would remove her shoes and does everything like a seasoned traveler, there was someone playing Piano in the waiting lobby, she was dancing with the tunes and entertained the crowd. During the wait time she would go up and down in escalator and she had so much fun. She was super active but she was managing her own which meant I could watch 3-4 movies in the flight.

We landed in Hyderabad and had a long wait before we could clear immigration and there was again long wait for the baggage. When we came out it was 4AM, we were surprised to see my manager and a friend waiting for us. By the time we reached home it was 5AM. We tried to sleep but it was tough, I started to work around 10AM leaving Chucky with my in laws. She cried and asked for us, I came home around 8PM and she was very happy to see me. She wasn’t ready to use the restrooms of airport, flight and now the toilet here; she says it’s yucky and wet. She is fascinated and afraid to see ants and spiders etc, looking at her R and I was making fun of her and laughing, she wasn’t happy about it, she said ”Dada why are you laughing, what so funny about it?” She looked like an NRI,I can’t blame her either, I can’t expect her to get adjusted to this lifestyle in a day or two. I was trying to explain her that this is where we feel home and the best memories of my life are associated with this country. I hope she gets adjusted soon and enjoy as much as I do.

Weekend is going great, we are enjoying the warm pleasant weather, I think it’s one of the best months to be here in Hyderabad with chilled mornings and warm day. We are so happy to be away from wet cold US winter. Yesterday we got break from work and I insisted R to take us around Hyderabad, I have never explored this city, every time I came from Airport to my in-laws home and back. We hired a cab and we first went to Nehru Zoo. We all had great time, the zoo was quite interesting, it had many animals and maintained well. I will write more about it in one of the travel Thursday posts. After the zoo we had lunch and went to Golconda Forts, it was beyond my imagination and I was very impressed. I had taken many pictures there, we went all the way up and the view was astonishing. I will write more about it later.

This morning we went out for breakfast, I had Dosa, Idly, Vada, Poori and Bonda, don’t get me wrong but we are eating as if we haven’t seen food for ages. That too we had this in a small road side shop, I am amazed to see the fresh quality food we get here. And these days I am converting everything from Rupees to Dollars just like how I did when I first traveled to US. The ticket price for the fort was just 5Rs which is like what 10cents and zoo was also very cheap, it was only 40cents. We had a cab and driver for the day which costed only $25. Looking at all these I have no motivation to go back. In short we all are having super fun. I will be traveling to Bangalore next week for a day or two to drop Chucky with my parents, this would be the first time Chucky and I would be staying away from each other, I am looking forward for this, there are two reasons, first of all I wanted to stay away from my mommy duties and second being I wanted to stop being a cow, I am sure if we don’t stay away I would end up nursing her for life long. I hope she stays with my parents even if it is for a week or two. I will try to keep this space updated as and when I get some time off from work. How are you all doing?

Life so far

The chaos hasn’t stopped at work, but I have learned few things in last couple of months, I think I am able to manage my stress and you can hardly hear me cribbing about it. It’s so true that you get to see true picture of a person when he or she is under pressure. It’s easy to be find issues but tough to resolve them. Guys, how long you will crib about your work schedules and stress you are undergoing, use that time to resolve some of the problems. It’s beneficial for everyone. I am working in a group where men to women ration are highly unequal, I was/is the only women in my group for more than 1.5 years, and things were no different when I was working for my previous project too, when we go for meetings I would be the odd one out. Well that could be a separate post why this group is dominated by men. But looking at these guys I feel annoyed, they spend a lot of time in coffee breaks and discussing about issues. Well agreed there is no work life balance in this project but if you all have been working proactively the previous months we would have not been in a mess like how we are now. It’s easy to crib and blame but it takes lot of effort to resolve a problem. Can you please understand that?

I spoke to one of my college friends and I have been enjoying those moments, all of a sudden I feel I am eighteen. When we spoke we realized that we have changed so much, our priorities, life style everything is changed, but we could get connected with just one phone call and it’s great to get in touch with a friend who knows more or less everything about you. It’s a great to feel young and look at life from a new angle.

R and I are fighting less and we are more considerate to each other’s requests and demands. It’s so true that life with your partner grows deep, hard and strong as you spend more and more time with him or her. Well there is always that rule, you have to work towards making it strong. I very well know what irritates him and he knows the same, we try to avoid those situations as much as possible. And even when we are in an argument we know that it is temporary and we will find a solution to it. We are doing great working as a team and it makes me believe how well we complement each other. Well we will be completing 5years of our marriage next June.

Chucky is feeling much better from last week, whatever weight she gained in last 2monts she lost, that’s my usual story isn’t it. She is no longer likes to go to the day care, she doesn’t cry when we drop her but morning if given an option she prefers to stay home. Also she needs some or other objects (could be toys, food, Sippy cup) to carry along with her as a security object. My poor baby!! She is getting more and more attached to me during night time, she wants me to hug her tight and never wants me to go away. I like this but sometimes I get frustrated about it, especially when I have to wake up to do my work. I keep reminding that this would be only for few months and I should enjoy as much as I can.

Last 2 days it was snowing here, while we didn’t play in the snow it was fun to stay home and watch everything around us turning to white. This morning I woke to see my living room roof was leaking. I called my owner and he said he will fix as soon as possible. Well I can’t imagine living in a pool of water in this cold weather.

And the biggest news I wanted to share, I will be traveling to India for 2-3 weeks; its work related which means I will be spending most of the time including weekends with my team in Hyderabad. I will be making a quick visit to Bangalore to see my parents and sisters. I am planning to leave Chucky with my parents if she is ready to stay there with them. I have visa stamping and everyone around me is nervous about it, looks like there are lots of rejections. I am super cool about it, after all I will be in my homeland and nothing would really worry me at this point. I slowly started believing that everything that happens in life is for good. Every time I get into a problem and when I come out of it, I realize that it happened for good. I am so looking forward for this trip, there is nothing like going back home, even if it is for few hours with your loved ones. I am so thrilled.

One more thing I realized is how passionate I am about my work, few months ago I was in the verge of giving up and looking for another options, first thing came on my mind was to sit at home and travel as much as possible, well traveling is my passion, you must be knowing that by now. But now that we are in the last stage of the project; I know how valuable I am to this team. People look towards me for their problems and I try to help them where ever I can. I hardly get time for my personal life but I am so happy that we have pulled this sinking ship to a shore, we just have few more days which is hard to sail, but I am sure we will reach our destination. I am so looking forward to see our captain announcing our victory.

I have been an emotional person throughout my life, I do realize my mistake and I am trying to fix. It’s good to be passionate and put all your emotions at work, but I should learn not to be emotional. Last week there was an escalation against me, I handled the situation very well at work. I made them understand that the allegation against me were inappropriate, I had all points to prove my stand. But that night after I got back home, I was all upset and in tears which wasn’t required. Later I realized that it is OK to get into such issues but fighting against it makes you tough and learning how to handle those makes you a successful person. I am sure next time I get into such problems I would handle it with much ease.

So far this year has been fruitful in many aspects; I am looking forward for next spring/summer where we get to travel again. I didn’t get time to visit your blog but I am sure you all are rocking and I will come and read you all real soon. Thanks for asking and being so considerate, you all make me come back and write every time I disappear. I love you.

PS: Please ignore the grammar and spellings, I am not even going to read what I have written.